Everybody is Loved

Over the weekend..

My lovely friends from Portugal finally returned back to Singapore after their 6 months backpacking trip. I was beyond excited to hangout with the whole gang again, the last time I met them was October last year. It may not seem like too long ago, but in these 6 months, I was feeling completely delusional about my life.

So anyway, meet ups with them are always fun, lots of interesting conversations, stories about travels, food and wine, then a little dancing. The kind of hangout where you wish the night never ends. Everyone just wants to chill till we fall asleep, time does not exist when you with friends. Usually the conversations we have, can get struck in my head, whether its good or bad . I take it in as a positive note and a lesson in life. By understanding from their perspective as an Expat living in Singapore, discussions about language, lifestyle, food, drinks, housing, government, human thinking, the overall quest on what is life.

A South American girl and I were chatting about how the typical Chinese girls here like to show off that they have branded bags, shoes, cars, sometimes even kids. And that some Asian girls want to get married to a foreigner, as they see them as a wealthy person who is able to provide. And because of that the white man treat girls here as an object, without respect. Part of me was thinking, yes some Asian here does act a certain way, but don't every country sort of have issues like that. For example, in Dubai the wealthy has a cheetah as a pet, shows it off on social media, some countries too have men treating women badly, some cases of both women and young boys are abused and force to do bad things.. etc.

I slowly digressed, to summarize that the world is messed up, the end.

We continued the conversation about why people are rushing to get married here, to be married before their thirties to have a house and have kids. Are they really happy? Now this I completely agree with, as I have a lot of friends around me getting married, having kids, waiting for a flat. When I am still daydreaming about living an Off the Grid lifestyle with a farm and fruit trees. I mean they seem really happy and that's great, the meaning of happiness varies from different people . Then comes the question, does Earth really need more humans.. What is love?

My eyes brighten up as she continues questioning life.

These are the sort questions that makes me ponder for days, months, forget about it and question myself again when something comes to mind. I was lost on the question 'what is love.' My brain was too emotionally worn out lately to wonder into this topic. We did both agree that for sure, love is needed to start a family. But what if love is never found, she mentioned to me, as she was older than me. What if love is found only when I am 50 years old, I might not have kids then. Which is very true, like a few inspirational TED talks I have listened to, people getting divorce after 20 years of marriage, divorced 3 times, or even separate after just 1 year with kids or not. Same gender marriage, transgender.. etc.

To sum up our conversation, we both agree on living life loving yourself, do what makes you happy, do good.

Don't dwell yourself in people's judgements. This was one of the highlights of the night, besides us sharing our poor feet massage knowledge, explanations on boxing, Muay Thai, Jiu Jitsu and MMA. Talking about wine and gin, eating steak with flour from Brazil, wine from Italy. Today, I have refueled my soul to know that I am not alone, everyone share similar struggles, we are humans beings after all. Not forgetting, the rest of the friends I have met, who are no longer living in Singapore, you did came across our minds, and that we too miss all of you very much. Bon Voyage to my dear friends,

We will definitely meet again someday and make more beautiful memories together :) Xoxoxo

Denise. J

Going Zero Waste

Hi all, it's been quite sometime now since my last post. I wrote a long post about my trip to Bintan, but I am not contented with the resources I was about to share. I was going a period of change far more important than my vacation.

Anyway now, I am slowly realizing that I am running my own life as an independent adult.

Making sure I set goals and keeping focus to achieve them. The two most important thing to me is to maintain healthy body and mind. I dislike being sick and missing out on events. Therefore, I cook my own meals and exercise 4-5 times a week. I am Pescetarian, my diet consist of vegetables, fruits and fish. Sometimes during special occasions I do consume meat, cheese, egg and a little milk. Almond milk is my all time favorite.

Going through this routine, I was simply able to avoid crowded lunch hours, unhealthy outside food, day to day food choices of I don't know what to eat, overpriced food and small food portions. Over time, I upgrade my meal prep plans, sometimes with salad or bread or smoothie fruit bowl. Everyday, I bring home cooked meals to work with that I can avoid bringing home plastic bags, which I dislike very much, its noisy, ugly, uncomfortable and non-recyclable.

I went on to researching about zero waste on Youtube. The minimalism lifestyle was an inspiration for me. I was already throwing out stuff I don't need since 2016, but it was a slow and tough process for me because I do like to hold onto things, thinking I'll use them again. Now I am determined to throw more out, loose clothes, paper documents from school, old shoes I used to love but never really wore them.

Beginners to Zero Waste, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYDQcBQUDpw

Places to Donate to in Singapore, https://honeykidsasia.com/charity-singapore-donation/ Even when I was travelling in Italy just last year, I only realized that most European countries have already implemented a rule to separate plastic, paper and metal. The citizens are actually doing it right, but majority of the Singaporeans here are too lazy to separate the materials, they just trash all into a single plastic bag. Countries like Australia, New Zealand, Italy, France, San Fran, Sweden and Japan are winning at going zero waste, disposing or decomposing waste in their own backyard.

Sweden's Zero Waste, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14r7f9khK70

Italy's Zero Waste Campaign, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGCIIqsAmRo

How San Francisco Is Becoming A Zero Waste City, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg3OA1s8-SI

Japan's Zero Waste, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eym10GGidQU

New Zealand's Zero Waste Living, https://www.youtube.com/user/livingbigtinyhouse

After doing all the research done, I believe Singaporeans can do it right!

These countries have improved recycling and zero waste within 2 to 3 years. Think about it.

Recently in Singapore, a couple opened an Eco-Friendly Zero Waste store near Lower Pierce Reservoir.

6 Jalan Kuras, Singapore 577724

https://www.instagram.com/unpackt.sg

Their official opening will be in June. The photo at the end of this post was a few things I brought from their store.

Red Lentils at $0.98 sgd/100gm and some SoapNuts at & $4.80 sgd/100gm.

They also sell stainless steel straws, bamboo brushes, beeswax wraps, soaps, sanitary cups, dish washing soap.. etc. There isn't a lot at the moment. I will be donating glass bottles to the store soon.

Keep Myself Accompany

Hi everyone! You might want to grab yourself a Hot cup of Tea or Cocoa before diving into this long post.

After I wrote my third post on Life & Relationship Advice, I have been wanting to elaborate on a book and links I have shared previously. I have always thought that this isn't important enough to share, until I came across a few videos of people explaining how they felt about themselves in different situations. So I thought it would be interesting for me to write about it.

To start, most of the time I am an emotional, hopelessly romantic, old fashioned kind of person, sometimes sensitive, but over the years, my sensitively senses has shut itself down from working in the F&B industry, if you get what I mean, you can't please everyone. Everyone has their own characteristics, and when I see it, I'll be like ah okay, I guess we have to try another way. The more personalities I come across, the more I learn to understand and adapt with people.

For example, from the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carngie." He teaches us how, to listen, to ask questions, remember people's names, how to phrase your questions, if you are wrong admit it.. etc. The small things does matter in every aspect our lives.

There are two big human struggles in life which is wanting the sense of Belonging and Happiness. Although people around me may seem contented, some may be, some may not be, which ever the case is, human will forever question the meaning of life. This never ending searching has got me listening, reading to many self-help books about people's perspective and experiences in life. Then I found a pattern.

Like a quote I came across, “You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all.”― Maya Angelou. I see this as, The world, This Planet as a home, you may not feel a sense of belonging unless you care, share and accept what life has installed for you, to be grateful instead fighting against all that you are given. Whether you are Human, Animal or Nature, we coexist in this one Eco System.

Like in this presentation by Tracy McMillan from TED Talk "The Person you really need to Marry" has explained a few situations I have felt. She mentioned,

"That you commit to yourself, then you build a relationship with yourself until you realized you are whole right now, that no man, no house, no circumstance that is going to happen to you to make you more whole."

This lingered in my mind for a week, I am not sure how my emotions can handle this idea, but then again my emotions can be everywhere at times.

"To love yourself, the way you want someone else to love you."

Which I understood better, that you are the only person who knows how to treat yourself and that relying on people would end up making you feel dishearten.

"I had always been going through life with this sense of lack. I felt like I was kind of half a person, and that I was missing something. I went into my relationships hoping to solve this feeling that I had my entire life: that I wasn’t whole unless someone loved me."

I guess Humans are made to think this way, from how society has brought us up. Example only alcohol can be consume when you are 18 Years old, that 65 Years old is your retiring age. I felt that whether you are in a relationship or not, at some point in life you would feel like something is missing.

So from all the research and references I have done, I have learned to handle my emotions and to love myself a whole new way, that caring and sharing with others does in fact makes me feel happier. It's not that I have been a mean person but I do believe in what goes around comes back around.

Thank you for reading, I hope this somehow help you from which ever level of life you are at :D

Peace Love,

Denise. J

(side track) Here's my own Recipe for my Cup of Hot Almond Milk Cocoa! Recently I have been obsessed with having a cup of Hot Cocoa Almond Milk after dinner. It makes me feels relax a couple of hours before heading to bed for a good nights sleep. Usually I would have it while reading or listening to research materials or my posts. Watching stand up comedy is perfect too.

Hot Cocoa Recipe

1 thumb size Dark Chocolate

2 Table Spoons of Cocoa Powder

1/2 Tea Spoon of Cinnamon Powder

1 Tea Spoon of Maple Syrup or Honey

(Blend them well in Hot Water then fill up the rest of your cup with room temperature Almond Milk.)

Besides me just enjoying Hot Cocoa, I have a few research references here.

If you are interested in the benefits of Cocoa,

https://www.beautyandtips.com/healthy-eating/10-fabulous-health-benefits-of-cocoa-powder/

https://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/other/health-benefits-of-cocoa.html

https://www.metaboliceffect.com/cocoa/

https://www.mnn.com/food/beverages/stories/7-health-benefits-of-drinking-hot-cocoa